OPENING CREDITS; TITLE: “
BLACK SCREEN
We hear the low sounds of a movie (”The Evil Dead II” (Sam Raimi--1987)) being played on a television.
ADAM (V.O.)
A lot of people get mixed up with actors. Yeah, man. I get confused with Jude Law all the time.
INT. LIVING ROOM DAY
CAMERA reveals Adam’s face. Adam looks nothing like Jude Law. CAMERA moves back slowly to reveal a group of 5 teenagers--high school students--sprawled out on a sofa and a few armchairs, all watching a movie (”The Evil Dead II) and drinking beers and sodas and passing around a joint. ADAM and his friend ALEX are two stoned slackers; Michael is a scrawny high-school student; SOPHIE is Michael's best friend (a plain-looking but very sarcastic and cynical girl); and BRIGITTE is a beautiful girl taking tiny sips from her beer (which she
holds with both hands) and sitting with her knees bunched together. While stunningly beautiful in an adult-like manner, Brigitte gives off an aura of schoolgirl cutesiness.
On the television screen, blood-curdling screams are heard as a harpie-monster wrestles with the valiant hero of “Evil Dead II.”
ADAM
(inhaling from the joint that's being passed around)
This one time, I'm in the park, you know, riding my bike, and this, uh, police officer stops me, and uh, he asks me questions and shit and after a minute he stops and he, uh, asks me if I'm that actor, Jude Law. (beat) Just like that.
ALEX
Go fuck yourself.
ADAM
Yo! It's the truth, Ruth!
Michael is looking ardently at Brigitte, and twirls his hair vigorously (a nervous tick).
MICHAEL
(pauses from staring at Brigitte to look at Adam)
Hey, uh, Adam, some of us here are trying to watch a classic of modern cinema. Would you mind piping down, yes? THANK YOU.
(He looks at the screen and when it's safe to do so, he resumes his staring)
There are about 5-8 seconds of silence as we see all 5 teenagers watching “The Evil Dead II.” The CAMERA does a CLOSE UP on each one of their faces, one after the other. All of them, save Michael, dumbly stare at the television set. MICHAEL, sitting on the sofa, alternately stares at the television and at Brigitte, who is sitting in an armchair. His staring has reached ridiculous proportions. He twirls his hair vigorously. Sophie, sitting next to Michael, leans forward, thus blocking Michael’s field of view. Michael leans backward immediately to continue his staring.
SOPHIE, sitting next to Michael, breaks the silence.
SOPHIE
(talking about the movie)
This wacky shit could only happen in the woods. (beat) God, the woods are so much more exciting than the city!
(pointing to an especially gruesome face-off between man and monster, on the television screen)
Look at that!
All they got in cities are banks and hobos and fucking dollar-stores.
ADAM
Yo Sophie, isn’t your dad from a really woodsy area?
SOPHIE
Yeah, he grew up in rural
ADAM
Where did he go?
SOPHIE
Stanford.
Brigitte is interested all of a sudden. She sits up.
ADAM
No, I meant where did he go after he left
SOPHIE
Oh--
(she is cut off by Brigitte)
BRIGITTE
I’m applying to Stanford early! Did your dad like it?
SOPHIE
Yeah. But he got kicked out junior year.
BRIGITTE
(horrified)
What? (beat) Why?
SOPHIE
He fired a shotgun at a police car. It was meant to be a statement. You know, the turbulent sixties and all that anarchist horseshit. Funny thing is, he didn’t realize there was a cop napping inside the car. He shot the cop in the shoulder. The guy almost lost his arm.
BRIGITTE
Oh my god!
SOPHIE
Yeah. (beat) He got a year in jail and then he finished up college at City College of New York.
ALEX
No way, man! My uncle went there!
ADAM
(getting up)
That’s absolutely fascinating, Alex. Yo, I'm gonna get some birthday cake. (Walking towards the kitchen) I think there's some cake left over from the birthday party.
(O.S, from the kitchen)
Yeah, there is. (beat) And it looks DE-lish.
There's, uh, Winnie the Pooh frosting on top. (shouting) Yo! (beat) Who wants some cake?
EXT. STREET DAY
Michael and Sophie walk down the street.
SOPHIE
That was such a good movie! So much symbolism, you know? Like when the hero is wrestling with his own hand...you remember? When his hand becomes possessed and tries to strangle him? Like...
Sophie acts as if her hand were possessed and trying to strangle her. Her hand is around her neck and squeezing before Michael can pull it off.
MICHAEL
(freeing Sophie from her own hand)
Yo, stop that! Cut it out, yo!
SOPHIE
I’m sorry. (beat) But it was such a good movie!
MICHAEL
(dreamily)
That girl, Brigitte...
SOPHIE
(cuts Michael off)
Fucking ditzy overachiever. She didn’t care two shits about the story I was telling about my dad. All she cared about was that he went to fucking Stanford.
MICHAEL
But who is she, though? No one introduced her or anything.
SOPHIE
She’s Alex’s cousin. Yeah, she goes to one of the all-girls’ schools. (beat) She’s probably a dyke.
MICHAEL
Yo, Sophie, I seriously doubt that. She’s way too hot to be a lesbian. I’ve honestly never met a hotter girl in my entire life. No, she wasn’t hot. She was so (beat) magnetic. Did you see the way she sat? She wasn’t even vulgar or anything. She was just (beat) beauty in the flesh. (beat)
(lowers his voice)
Yeah, Sophie, she was beautiful.
(moans dramatically and closes his eyes)
SOPHIE
(taken aback)
That’s the first time I’ve heard you say anything about a girl other than that you wanted to “put it in her.”
MICHAEL
(lost in thought)
Yeah... because she, uh, (beat) she was different, Sophie. You don’t get it. I don’t know. (beat) But she was so different, Sophie.
SOPHIE
So what? She was pretty! All right, already. There’s lots of pretty girls, Michael.
EXT. FRONT OF FOOD STORE/BODEGA DAY
Michael and Sophie walk into the food store.
CUT TO: MICHAEL AND SOPHIE WALKING OUT WITH A BAG OF CHIPS
Michael chews the chips noisily
MICHAEL
(screaming and blowing chip crumbs everywhere)
But I’m telling you, she was fucking different, Sophie!
FADE TO:
EXT. PUBLIC PARK DAY
A park bench. MICHAEL is sitting very still, a pen between his teeth, reading a book (for school). He furtively picks his nose, wiping his hand on his pants. Looking up, he sees something that stuns him. Panicking, he lowers his head into his book, but we can tell that he is not reading because his eyes follow that thing which startled him.
A WIDE SHOT and we see BRIGITTE walking down the park path. MICHAEL pretends not to see her but throws furtive glances at her. When BRIGITTE is about ten feet from MICHAEL’s bench, she sees MICHAEL and he sees her.
MICHAEL
(Hardly able to look at her)
Oh, hi, um, you’re Alex’s cousin, right? I met you like a month ago, at Adam’s house. We were watching, uh, “The Evil Dead” or some shit. I don’t even remember. Yeah, I hardly remember that afternoon. Um, it’s a miracle I even remembered you!
Michael laughs very loudly and awkwardly.
BRIGITTE
Uhuh. (beat) Oh yeah, I remember that. What’s your name again?
MICHAEL
(stammering)
Uh, Muh-michael. I’m Michael. Uh, you’re Brigitte, right?
BRIGITTE
Yeah. (beat) Um, I’m meeting someone, Michael, so I have to go, but it was really nice to run into you.
MICHAEL
(He extends his hand to shake BRIGITTE’s but halfway changes his mind and instead awkwardly raises his hand to wave a goofy goodbye by wiggling his fingers )
Okaybyebrigitte.
BRIGITTE waves her hand and walks away. MICHAEL twirls his hair and watches her until she turns the bend and disappears. He opens his book on his lap but it is clear that he is not reading. He twirls his hair, lost in thought.
FADE OUT.
INT. MICHAEL’S BATHROOM DAY
Michael is seated on a chair with a wet towel wrapped around his neck. Sophie is giving him a haircut.
SOPHIE
Look at all that nasty hair on the floor, Michael! It looks like pubic bush. Who was gonna cut your repulsive hair, if not me?
MICHAEL
My mother very graciously offered to do it.
SOPHIE
Yeah, and you’d end up with a beautiful bowl cut. Michael, you’d be lost in this cold world without me.
(nicking him in the ear)
You realize that, you ungrateful shit?
MICHAEL
Of course I know that. I’m going to start cutting myself next year when we’re at different schools.
SOPHIE
Yeah, and that’s why your first choice is Stanford and the closest I’m applying to there is in
MICHAEL
Sophie, do you understand that Stanford has, like, the best computer science and psychology departments in the country? Do you understand that I owe my application to Stanford, not only to my wonderful parents, but to myself and my own, wonderful future?
SOPHIE
(she stops cutting Michael’s hair and stands still for a moment)
I think it’s because of Brigitte, Michael. (beat) I think you applied to Stanford because of a dykey girl you hardly met a month-and-a-half ago.
MICHAEL
(looks up at Sophie)
Um, look, Sophie. (beat) Do you want me to explain?
SOPHIE
(very softly)
I would like that very much.
MICHAEL
Okay, look. (beat) It's like you take, say, um, a chicken. And an apple...And you put them together in a box-a sealed box-
SOPHIE
Like Tupperware?
Sophie meticulously sets the scissors aside.
MICHAEL
Sure, like Tupperware. Whatever. And you leave them in the box together for ten million years, and eventually, because of the interactions of atoms, and the decomposition of bonds and whatever, the chicken and the apple will become, um, the same matter.
(Sophie gently rests her hands on Michael’s shoulders)
But that’s really slow. If you shake them, it'll take less time. Like ten thousand years. And so, uh, I tried to shake the box up so we could reach equilibrium a little faster...
SOPHIE
(slowly)
So you shook the box by applying to Stanford?
(incredulously repeats herself)
You shook your box by applying to the same school as her?
MICHAEL
(agitated)
Yes! Listen, do you know what I am?
SOPHIE
What? (beat) What are you, Michael?
Michael gets up. Michael and Sophie look at each other in the bathroom mirror.
MICHAEL
I’m a Jewish teenager! That means I define myself by Talmudic purposes! Fuck! (throws his hands in the air dramatically) Education! The best I could do to hit on this girl was to change the direction of my education! Look, Jewish males have narcissistic Jewish parents who got lots of sex back in the day, and then, uh, they fucked things up by smoking weed, and, uh, uh, marijuana. They smoked too much weed and ma-ri-jua-na and then they didn't get into Stanford and went to, uh, the
SOPHIE
That makes absolutely no sense. You applied to Stanford because of Jewish guilt?
Michael opens and begins rummaging through the medicine cabinet.
MICHAEL
(getting annoyed at having to explain himself
Yeah, but listen, it's more than that. I'm a firm believer in, uh, change. I've spent my entire life in this bleak and bleary city and uh, maybe I could use some change. With the sun and the palm trees I would obviously stop being a neurotic shit. I mean, can you really see me doing this (twirls his hair exaggeratedly and makes a face) while I'm rolling around in a red convertible and drinking pineapple juice?
SOPHIE
So Stanford is supposed to cure your neurosis or something? But first you said that it had to do with Brigitte.
MICHAEL
(throwing pill bottles around)
Fuck! Where’s the Tylenol!
SOPHIE
(softly)
I don’t know.
MICHAEL
(turns around to face Sophie again)
Look, I saw Brigitte once and we watched, uh, the Evil Dead II! And I couldn't stop staring at her. And then I saw her by chance in the park. I saw her once after that in the street buying bubble-gum at a newsstand but she didn’t see me. And now she's applying to Stanford, and I'm applying to Stanford. You think I know what I’m doing? I have no fucking idea what I’m doing! It doesn’t make any sense!
Michael starts walking out of the bathroom.
MICHAEL (CONT’D)
Listen, Sophie, I appreciate the haircut tremendously, and, uh, as per usual, you’re always a wonderful ear, and a strong shoulder to rest on, but, uh, I need to meet Max. I told him I’d meet him. I can’t keep him waiting.
SOPHIE
(desperately)
You’re meeting Max now? I’m not even done cutting your hair. You’re gonna look retarded.
Michael walks back into the bathroom to inspect himself.
MICHAEL
It looks stunning, Sophie. Thank you dearly.
(Michael starts walking out)
Yo, I’ll call you tonight or something.
Sophie is ashen as Michael leaves the bathroom.
INT. IN FRONT OF MAX’S APARTMENT DOOR DAY
Michael (with his half-haircut), eating a burrito, rings MAX’s doorbell. Max opens the door. Max is caucasian and upper-middle class, but likes to think that he’s from “the ghetto.” He wears a kufi (a muslim-style skull cap), a sports jersey, gym shorts and tube socks pulled high up on his legs. He is not wearing any shoes.
MAX
Oh, yo. Whattup dawg. Yo, how’s your quesadilla?
MICHAEL
(looks at his burrito)
(beat) It’s obviously a burrito.
MAX
Yeah, gimme a bite of that shit.
(he reaches for the burrito)
CUT TO:
INT. MAX’S BEDROOM DAY
Adam is sitting on Max’s bed, reading comics. Michael is standing in the doorway. Max pulls brand new sneakers out of a box and sits on the bed to put the right shoe on. He stands up, holding the left shoe close to his face as if it were gold. A greedy grin is painted on his face: Max’s two great loves in this world are sneakers and marijuana.
CAMERA DOES A CLOSE UP OF MAX SLOBBERING OVER HIS SNEAKER, SNIFFING IT, EXAMINING IT...
MAX
Man, look at these muthafuckin sneakahs! These sneakahs are hhhhot!
MICHAEL
Yeah. I guess they’re pretty nice.
MAX
Yeah man, I went on a grand tour de sneakers yesterday. I got these sugary babies (he holds up the shoe), some ill nike low-riders -- you know, for the classic flavah -- and one sweet, sweet pair of... (beat) you’ll never guess what.
ADAM
(still sitting on the bed reading comics)
What?
MICHAEL
(noticing Adam for the first time)
Oh hey, Adam, whattup.
MAX
I got one sweet pair of purple walabis!
MICHAEL
Is that, like, a fruit or something?
ADAM
Yeah, man, my grandma has a purple walabi tree in her garden. She makes this incredible purple walabi pie, man, you wouldn’t even believe it.
MAX
Wha... Man... (stomps his foot in frustration)! Walabis are the hottest shoe on the market! Y’all are ignorant mothafuckers!
MICHAEL
Adam, do you remember there was a time when Max’s favorite noun wasn’t motherfucker?
ADAM
(still reading his comics)
Sure thing. (to Max) You used to be real cutie, man. With long eyelashes, curly blond locks, a sweet little pink mouth. Such a wonderful little boy...
MAX
(grinning)
Yeah, man, I remember that shit! Yo, represent! Yo, you and me, Michael, we used to play chess! You remember that shit? We were the chess champions of South City Lower!
CUT TO:
Michael, Max and Adam are all on the floor, playing a board-game (MOUSETRAP). Adam accidentally skips Max’s turn.
MAX (CONT’D)
Yo, it’s my turn. (beat) MY TURN, MOTHAFUCKAH!
MICHAEL
Okay! (beat) Here.
(he hands Max the dice)
MAX
(Max rolls and lands on something good)
Oh! (beat) Yo, after this, I got some crazy delicious weed, man! It’s all orange and shit!
ADAM
That sounds really nice.
MICHAEL
Yeah, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just kind of hang out while you guys smoke.
ADAM
That sounds really nice too.
CUT TO:
ADAM, MICHAEL AND MAX ARE SITTING ON MAX’S BED. ADAM AND MAX SHARE A JOINT. THEY PROD THE BOARDGAME--MOUSETRAP (ON THE FLOOR)--WITH THEIR FEET.
MAX
So, dawg, you’re applying early to Stanford?
MICHAEL
Yeah. They have really good computer science and psychology departments.
MAX
Oh, word? I went out with a girl from
MICHAEL
That’s wonderful.
Max activates a lever (part of the board-game) with his foot and sends the marble whirling through a maze of complex mechanisms.
ADAM
This game is hilarious.
MICHAEL
My new job is hilarious.
ADAM
Oh yeah, man? I didn’t know you were working this summer.
MICHAEL
I got this internship at a taste-and-smell research lab. They’re called Johnson Labs. It’s some really exciting, cutting-edge business. I answer the telephone mostly. Sometimes, I have to show people where the bathroom is.
MAX
Yo, I’m gonna be a porter again at the
ADAM
You were a porter at the
MAX
Yeah, dawg. That was some hot shit. The dudes I worked with were some fiiine motherfuckers. Yeah. There’s Ray. He’s a Puertorican. He’s got the golden voice, dawg. Yeah, he sings Smokey Robinson all day. Sometimes, he’ll even do Aretha. And then there’s Kelly. Yeah, he’s from
MICHAEL
(jumps up suddenly)
Fuck! What time is it?
(checks watch)
I’m gonna be late for work. I gotta go.
ADAM
What? You started working already?
MICHAEL
Yeah, it’s my third day.
(getting out of his chair)
Hey guys, I’ll see you soon.
MAX
Yo, I’ll walk you to the door.
(Max gets up from his chair)
INT. RECEPTION AREA OF JOHNSON LABORATORIES DAY
Michael sits at a desk doing crossword puzzles. A man in a lab coat walks by. The phone rings and Michael answers it.
MICHAEL
(in flat monotone)
Hello, Johnson Laboratories for Taste and Smell Research. (beat) No, the results for that test aren’t in yet. (beat) No, he’s not here. (beat) Who? (beat) Doctor Spitzer. (beat) Yeah. (beat) Yeah, I’ll let them know you called. Yeah, goodbye.
Michael puts the telephone down and flicks a finger around in his nose. He scribbles something on his crossword puzzle. He concentrates very hard on his puzzle and twirls his hair.
The camera moves back to give a fuller view of the reception/front desk area. Michael pores over his crossword puzzle. Brigitte comes in and walks up to the front desk. She doesn’t recognize Michael. He doesn’t notice her and continues his crossword puzzle.
BRIGITTE
Excuse me?
Michael looks up. It takes him a second to recognize Brigitte. He turns red.
MICHAEL
(whispers)
Oh, shit! (beat) Brigitte! What are you doing here?
BRIGITTE
(she’s not quite sure that she recognizes Michael)
Oh hey, um, you’re Michael, right? Um, I volunteered for a study. Yeah, I have to eat fruit and fill out questionnaires and they told me I’d get 80 dollars!
MICHAEL
(he lowers his head, so as not to look at Brigitte)
I know that study. It’s pretty sweet. They also take your blood samples, though. To read your blood sugar or something.
BRIGITTE
That’s fine. I don’t really mind needles.
Michael slowly looks up, furtively. He looks amazed.
BRIGITTE (CONT’D)
So, um, where do I go?
MICHAEL
(stammering)
Oh, I’m so sorry. You have to go to, uh, room seventeen. That’s the
BRIGITTE
(she looks at Michael and flashes him a broad, thankful smile)
Thanks, Michael.
(She walks down the hall)
See you around.
Michael watches Brigitte disappear down the hallway. When she is gone he rests his head in his hands and stares down at the desk, lost in his thoughts. He is like this for a few seconds, and then the phone rings. The phone rings four or five times before Michael hears it. He picks up the phone very fast.
MICHAEL
(shouting frantically)
Hello, Johnson Laboratories for Taste and Smell Research!
CUT TO:
INT. MAX’S BEDROOM DAY
Michael is in Max’s room, talking to Max.
MICHAEL
Max, do you ever see the same, random person over and over again, in a lot of different places?
MAX
Yeah, dawg. Like, once yo, I took, like, three cabs in a week, and each time it was the same mothafuckin cabbie. Fucked with my head, yo. I was like, “Please, dawg! Get away from me wit yo stanky-ass cab!”
MICHAEL
Uh-uh. Do you believe in, uh, fate, Max?
MAX
Nah, man, none of that voodoo shit.
(pulls out his cell-phone to check the time)
Oh, shit. Yo, listen, son, I got to meet a lady friend. I met her like three weeks ago at this block party. She’s a fine mama-jama. Let me call her to ask if you can come.
(dials number and puts phone to ear)
Yo, Brigitte? It’s your sugar daddy. (beat) Yeah (beat) Yeah, I’m still comin over. (beat) Yo, can a friend come too. Yeah, he’s a sweet kid. (beat) What? (beat) Nah, man. (beat) Yeah, okay, I’ll be right over, girl. Sit tight. (beat) Oh, yeah, girl.
(hangs up and puts phone back in pocket)
As soon as Michael hears the name Brigitte, his eyes become very wide and he becomes very pale. He listens intently to everything Max says.
MAX (CONT’D)
Yo, sorry dawg, she wants some hot private time. But you’ll get to meet her soon enough.
MICHAEL
(very slowly)
Her name is Brigitte?
MAX
Yeah, sweet name, right, dawg? She’s, uh, my boy Alex’s cousin.
Michael’s face is blank and pale as a bedsheet. His entire being has just been crushed.
MICHAEL
(in a flat monotone)
I know Alex. (beat) I hang out with him sometimes.
Max looks at Michael quizzically, without understanding his sudden change in mood. Michael stares into space.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET DAY
MICHAEL WALKING IN THE STREET
Michael looks at his feet as he walks. All around the city is bustling, but he is frozen in his despair.
Michael comes alive all of a sudden, as he sees something offset: At the end of the block, Brigitte exits a bookstore. She stands in front of the store, sideways and partially hidden from view, talking on the phone. Michael looks at her, stunned. Brigitte finishes her conversation and puts her phone in her handbag and turns to face the camera. We see that she is not Brigitte, but a girl who looks like her, with the same sunglasses, handbag, and hair type.
Michael quickly looks away, ashamed. He continues walking, head bent, face impassive.
EXT. MICHAEL’S FRONT STOOP
Michael walks up the stoop to his building/house.
CUT TO:
INT. MICHAEL’S BATHROOM DAY
Michael enters the bathroom and tosses a pile of mail on the sink. He urinates, supporting himself by leaning one hand against the wall. Michael flushes the toilet and glances at the mail as he rinses his hands. An envelope catches his eye. He finishes rinsing his hands and wipes them on his shirt. He picks up the envelope. The camera does a CLOSE UP on the envelope, and we see that it is emblazoned with the Stanford crest.
CUT TO (HIDDEN CUT):
AN ENVELOPE EMBLAZONED WITH THE STANFORD CREST.
The CAMERA slowly moves back and we see Sophie holding her own Stanford envelope (it has been opened). She is smiling and holds her acceptance letter in her hand.
Brigitte, too is in the park, enjoying a lap. She is all smiles. She walks down a park path, and sees Sophie leaning against a tree, smoking a cigarette.
BRIGITTE
Oh my god! Sophie! I’m Alex’s cousin, Brigitte! Remember?
SOPHIE
(coldly)
Hi, Brigitte.
BRIGITTE
Guess what? (beat) Your father would be so proud of me! I got into Stanford today! Just this afternoon!
SOPHIE
(sarcastically)
He would be proud of you! (beat) He’s real proud of me, too.
(holds up her acceptance letter)
BRIGITTE
(stunned)
Oh my god! I didn’t even know you had applied!
SOPHIE
(dreamily)
Yeah. I tried to, uh, shake my own box. It was the only way that, uh, that I could...Uh...
BRIGITTE
What? What box?
SOPHIE
I’m sorry. I’m not making any sense.
(deadpan)
You know, its that I’m just so overwhelmed with happiness.
BRIGITTE
Oh my god! Me too! That’s so great!
(bends in to hug Sophie, who responds with a lukewarm pat)
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. MICHAEL’S STOOP DAY
Michael sits on his stoop. The pile of mail sits next to him. Michael holds his Stanford envelope in his hands. He keeps it in his hands without opening it for a long time
The CAMERA slowly moves back as Michael opens the letter and reads it. We do not see its contents. Michael’s face bears a look of utter abandonment. His eyes are not moving. Slowly, he comes back to life and his eyes begin to move again. Michael’s lips curve into a tiny, sad, lonely smile. The CAMERA continues to move back. Michael tosses the letter aside.
CUT TO:
END CREDITS
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